There would be times na hindi mo makakasundo ng desisyon ang mga taong kasama mo sa araw araw. It's Ok. It's fine. It's normal. As a matter of fact, I encourage you that if someone brings up an argument or an idea that does not fit with what you like or believe in, then SAY SOMETHING. Assert yourself. Nothing gets done nor nothing gets improved if you don't assert yourself. And if you're just going to think na "dapat nakakaramdam naman siya noh, malaki na siya"... then nothing gets sorted out.
May oras na dapat nakakaramdam, may oras naman na importante din may sinasabi ka. In most times, if you like to make sure that you are understood and you would also want to understand others too, you have to say something. Make your point... and stand by it. Debate and have a conversation. No need na magparinig. Coz by the end of the day, we live interdependently with those people we are with everyday. By being assertive means you are seeking to live in harmony with your community, and leave nothing to frustration, aversion, and resentment. By being assertive and saying your stand and piece onto something in a respectful and calm manner and avoiding making pasaring would mean you are deciding to be mature and responsible, not only with your actions but also with your emotions.
Happy Thursday everyone! :)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
My Birthday was Yesterday (Taking of the 3 Refuges and 5 Precepts) Part 1
Yeap. That's right.
For the people who know me, they'd say that is not true. 'Coz I was born on Nov 27. However, we are "born" many times in one lifetime, right?
And what do I mean by it?
We're all born one and the same when we were birthed by our birth mothers. However, aside from that time we also feel we're born when we get married, or re-marry, or we have a new relationship with someone, or we join a community, or we learn something new from life and we have to re-make ourselves, or when our hearts break, we change our hairstyles, we put on some make up, we go to the gym 'coz we need to rise and get back up again. We become "born again" 'coz we joined a new religion, or a new movement, or a new career, or... yeah... it's usually us forging a new relationship with someone, or something.
On the other hand though, some of us just decide to be born once, twice, or thrice in our one lifetime. It really depends upon the person and how he/she views himself/herself, being re-born, and life.
From the time of our life until our last breath there would have been many times that we would have felt renewed and re-born. And that's the kind of "birthdays" I have been talking about. For me, I think I have decided to be "re-born" at least 7 times now. 1st when I became an official human being (was born), next was when I decided to become a born again Christian, and then took the The most recent was yesterday.
Yesterday marked a new life for me. I took the 3 Refuges and 5 Precepts which what they call in buddhism.
I am formally a buddhist now.
3 Refuges is taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
5 Precepts are:
- What if I killed an ant?
- What if Pabs (my partner in life) comes back from being aboard the ship, how are we going to enjoy ourselves together especially if we would want to have fun and drinks?
- How am I going to taste those poppers anymore? The promised ecstasy I've so been telling myself? Or what about those rare instances of good ole MJ with good ol' friends?
And then I had to stop. Told myself, hey, are they really THAT important? Really? The 5 Precepts could be something that I've always been looking for to improve my self and my life. To take the vow of the 5 Precepts mean that I would have to always decide to stop "sinning" and eventually preventing to hurt myself in the long run. Taking 5 Precepts could actually help me become a better person.
In my head, the main reason of taking these Precepts is to start doing better at my life and work. Because I think I am not exerting 100%, and I was just plain sick and tired of doing shortcuts. Yes, taking this vow may put an end to my frustration and put more pressure in myself to do the right thing and not even think twice. Especially at my work, my frustrations at work. Since they changed the business flow so that we're all gonna do an end to end process, I sincerely resented taking interactions/work that required to do end to end. So much so that I didn't like it, I started to do really bad. My metrices looked awful, my attendance got worse, my productivity score was horrible. I was already in my work for almost 5 years but I was really bad as compared to the new hires who looked like they were soaring like eagles ready to snatch food for their young. I was a burden to my Team Lead, which added to the frustration and guilt. I was just a mess and I needed to do something to change the course of my employee routine if I wouldn't want to let my work go and slip away from me.
Don't get me wrong. Despite my horrible scores on some areas, I get numerous commendations from customers. But, I just didn't want to be good at one and bad at others. I want to do well on all of the spaces in my office, in my part time jobs, and in my life.
I want to do very well with my role as a mom, as a partner-wife to Pabs, as a friend, as a team member, and as a daughter.
Someone said that by taking the vow to do 5 Precepts means I'm actually already doing something right. Because nothing gets done unless I, or we, make a vow. Now.
And by promising to do the 5 Precepts, I'm not making my life difficult. As a matter of fact as per the VP of Chung Tai Chan Monastery and Shifu Jianshu of Ocean Sky have mentioned, I am actually protecting myself from bad karma and more harm. Plus, they say that there are 36 bodhisattvas looking after me when I take the 5 Precepts.
Karma basically means cause and effect. Not the Filipino term or understanding which "the vengeance of the universe."
So, I then realized I was just plain afraid of the unknown. Who isn't right?
We're very much used to living within our comfort zone. However, comfort zone may also mean living in mediocrity. Mediocre zone means boring and lifeless. It means a continuous routinary run on the same place. It means stale, dry... tigang.
Being in the mediocre zone is actually scarier.
How about you? Would you want to take the 5 Precepts anytime soon? Or would you like to know more about Filipino buddhism first?
For the people who know me, they'd say that is not true. 'Coz I was born on Nov 27. However, we are "born" many times in one lifetime, right?
And what do I mean by it?
We're all born one and the same when we were birthed by our birth mothers. However, aside from that time we also feel we're born when we get married, or re-marry, or we have a new relationship with someone, or we join a community, or we learn something new from life and we have to re-make ourselves, or when our hearts break, we change our hairstyles, we put on some make up, we go to the gym 'coz we need to rise and get back up again. We become "born again" 'coz we joined a new religion, or a new movement, or a new career, or... yeah... it's usually us forging a new relationship with someone, or something.
On the other hand though, some of us just decide to be born once, twice, or thrice in our one lifetime. It really depends upon the person and how he/she views himself/herself, being re-born, and life.
From the time of our life until our last breath there would have been many times that we would have felt renewed and re-born. And that's the kind of "birthdays" I have been talking about. For me, I think I have decided to be "re-born" at least 7 times now. 1st when I became an official human being (was born), next was when I decided to become a born again Christian, and then took the The most recent was yesterday.
Yesterday marked a new life for me. I took the 3 Refuges and 5 Precepts which what they call in buddhism.
I am formally a buddhist now.
3 Refuges is taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
5 Precepts are:
- No killing.
- No stealing.
- No sexual misconduct.
- No lying.
- No intoxicants.
- What if I killed an ant?
- What if Pabs (my partner in life) comes back from being aboard the ship, how are we going to enjoy ourselves together especially if we would want to have fun and drinks?
- How am I going to taste those poppers anymore? The promised ecstasy I've so been telling myself? Or what about those rare instances of good ole MJ with good ol' friends?
And then I had to stop. Told myself, hey, are they really THAT important? Really? The 5 Precepts could be something that I've always been looking for to improve my self and my life. To take the vow of the 5 Precepts mean that I would have to always decide to stop "sinning" and eventually preventing to hurt myself in the long run. Taking 5 Precepts could actually help me become a better person.
In my head, the main reason of taking these Precepts is to start doing better at my life and work. Because I think I am not exerting 100%, and I was just plain sick and tired of doing shortcuts. Yes, taking this vow may put an end to my frustration and put more pressure in myself to do the right thing and not even think twice. Especially at my work, my frustrations at work. Since they changed the business flow so that we're all gonna do an end to end process, I sincerely resented taking interactions/work that required to do end to end. So much so that I didn't like it, I started to do really bad. My metrices looked awful, my attendance got worse, my productivity score was horrible. I was already in my work for almost 5 years but I was really bad as compared to the new hires who looked like they were soaring like eagles ready to snatch food for their young. I was a burden to my Team Lead, which added to the frustration and guilt. I was just a mess and I needed to do something to change the course of my employee routine if I wouldn't want to let my work go and slip away from me.
Don't get me wrong. Despite my horrible scores on some areas, I get numerous commendations from customers. But, I just didn't want to be good at one and bad at others. I want to do well on all of the spaces in my office, in my part time jobs, and in my life.
I want to do very well with my role as a mom, as a partner-wife to Pabs, as a friend, as a team member, and as a daughter.
Someone said that by taking the vow to do 5 Precepts means I'm actually already doing something right. Because nothing gets done unless I, or we, make a vow. Now.
And by promising to do the 5 Precepts, I'm not making my life difficult. As a matter of fact as per the VP of Chung Tai Chan Monastery and Shifu Jianshu of Ocean Sky have mentioned, I am actually protecting myself from bad karma and more harm. Plus, they say that there are 36 bodhisattvas looking after me when I take the 5 Precepts.
Karma basically means cause and effect. Not the Filipino term or understanding which "the vengeance of the universe."
So, I then realized I was just plain afraid of the unknown. Who isn't right?
We're very much used to living within our comfort zone. However, comfort zone may also mean living in mediocrity. Mediocre zone means boring and lifeless. It means a continuous routinary run on the same place. It means stale, dry... tigang.
Being in the mediocre zone is actually scarier.
How about you? Would you want to take the 5 Precepts anytime soon? Or would you like to know more about Filipino buddhism first?
The Start of a Fresh New Day, and of a Filipina Buddhist Blog
I've been meaning to write this Filipina buddhist blog since I formally started the practice of buddhism in my life about 6 months ago.
Although, I think, even before so, I've already been practicing the art of observation way back since high school. Observation and introspection are one of the basic human practices. And I think I had to continuously introspect because I had to survive... because I wanted my situations and my life to be better.
But 6 months ago when I started to dip myself into the practice of meditation which I found out through Filipino Buddhists group in Facebook, the diary-like writing was supposed to journal my journey of meditation with Aro Meditation (http://aromeditation.org/). It's a free online course about meditation, and what I could expect while I meditate. I was supposed to journal my thoughts as to my perspective about meditation at that time, my experiences, frustrations, and moments of "enlightenments". However, due to my O-C-ness which could also be referred as Analysis Paralysis, I felt at that time I was telling myself, "Soon, I will have a perfect time, place, and space to write." Either that or I was just plain lazy and a procrastinator. Combine laziness and procrastination (and excuses, and tiredness, and stress) and you see me daydreaming and planning more than writing or doing anything else when I have a free time.
Aro Meditation is Tibetan buddhism. For me, I don't care which kind of buddhism I delve into. As long as it qualifies these 2 things: 1) It believes in the Buddha-mind; 2) Their teachings make sense to me.
So there I was, trying to "meditate" without journaling anything.
Thing about not journaling anything was that I don't get as far as I wanted to because there really is nothing to refer back to.
Our sentient minds (the ones who haven't yet been practiced that much, the ones who are used to watching telenovelas, and the ones who listen to music that are predictable), couldn't hold as much information and history as it supposed to. Thus, should we want to look back to our past because we wanted to compare or relate or learn from it, our sentient minds may not be as reliable as compared to the minds that are calm and has meditated a lot.
So, allow me to write on this blog and from hereon, share my thoughts, my blessings, my good karma to anyone who is also looking for someone who is also seeking the truth in the midst of many confusions of religions, spiritualities, and "lifestyles" in this thousand islands, the Philippines. Let me share this blog to you, who may be curious as to what buddhism is all about. I am not a technical nor a university scholar who would quote you in a highfalutin manner nor am I a seasoned / tenured buddhist. I am just a plain human being who is imperfect in many forms and shapes. However, everyday, just like you, I want to try to be a better person because I want to be happy everyday. I want to be a better person because I am tired of living a mediocre and boring life. I want to be a better person because I don't want to repeat the same mistakes my parents made.
I just want to be a better person... and I just want to be happier.
And I am sharing you my thoughts, and my time, because just like you... I came to a point in my life I was groping to find another Filipino / Filipina buddhist I could reach out and relate with, and probably find a community I could grow with.
And of course, aside from all those reasons, allow me to share this Filipina buddhist blog so that a month, two months, three months from now I will already be able to find something to go back to and compare my "me" now and by then. Fair right?
Thank you for visiting. Please post your name and your thoughts on the comments box below. See you again.
Although, I think, even before so, I've already been practicing the art of observation way back since high school. Observation and introspection are one of the basic human practices. And I think I had to continuously introspect because I had to survive... because I wanted my situations and my life to be better.
But 6 months ago when I started to dip myself into the practice of meditation which I found out through Filipino Buddhists group in Facebook, the diary-like writing was supposed to journal my journey of meditation with Aro Meditation (http://aromeditation.org/). It's a free online course about meditation, and what I could expect while I meditate. I was supposed to journal my thoughts as to my perspective about meditation at that time, my experiences, frustrations, and moments of "enlightenments". However, due to my O-C-ness which could also be referred as Analysis Paralysis, I felt at that time I was telling myself, "Soon, I will have a perfect time, place, and space to write." Either that or I was just plain lazy and a procrastinator. Combine laziness and procrastination (and excuses, and tiredness, and stress) and you see me daydreaming and planning more than writing or doing anything else when I have a free time.
Aro Meditation is Tibetan buddhism. For me, I don't care which kind of buddhism I delve into. As long as it qualifies these 2 things: 1) It believes in the Buddha-mind; 2) Their teachings make sense to me.
So there I was, trying to "meditate" without journaling anything.
Thing about not journaling anything was that I don't get as far as I wanted to because there really is nothing to refer back to.
Our sentient minds (the ones who haven't yet been practiced that much, the ones who are used to watching telenovelas, and the ones who listen to music that are predictable), couldn't hold as much information and history as it supposed to. Thus, should we want to look back to our past because we wanted to compare or relate or learn from it, our sentient minds may not be as reliable as compared to the minds that are calm and has meditated a lot.
So, allow me to write on this blog and from hereon, share my thoughts, my blessings, my good karma to anyone who is also looking for someone who is also seeking the truth in the midst of many confusions of religions, spiritualities, and "lifestyles" in this thousand islands, the Philippines. Let me share this blog to you, who may be curious as to what buddhism is all about. I am not a technical nor a university scholar who would quote you in a highfalutin manner nor am I a seasoned / tenured buddhist. I am just a plain human being who is imperfect in many forms and shapes. However, everyday, just like you, I want to try to be a better person because I want to be happy everyday. I want to be a better person because I am tired of living a mediocre and boring life. I want to be a better person because I don't want to repeat the same mistakes my parents made.
I just want to be a better person... and I just want to be happier.
And I am sharing you my thoughts, and my time, because just like you... I came to a point in my life I was groping to find another Filipino / Filipina buddhist I could reach out and relate with, and probably find a community I could grow with.
And of course, aside from all those reasons, allow me to share this Filipina buddhist blog so that a month, two months, three months from now I will already be able to find something to go back to and compare my "me" now and by then. Fair right?
Thank you for visiting. Please post your name and your thoughts on the comments box below. See you again.
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